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We all know the look of someone who seems to walk into a room and exude power.  Relying on no more than non-verbal cues, we have a sense of who wields relatively more or less truly powerful influence over those around them and is less easily threatened by their environment.  Those who naturally and visibly carry themselves with a sense of power (as opposed to powerlessness) don’t necessarily ask to be entrusted with power; to some degree, they simply claim it with their body language.  And who wouldn’t want to be able to elevate their influence in this way?

When I talk to coaching clients about weaknesses, I use the term “blind spot” as well, because their biggest problems are often in areas where they are not (yet) self-aware and they have no idea how they are perceived. Those unknown weaknesses can be more damaging than the ones they know about. Perhaps their boss does not take the time to tell them, their peers do not have the heart to tell them, and their staff does not have the guts to tell them.

I once read that 80% of all meeting conversations in the work place are about what has already happened, even though the past cannot be changed.  What a waste!  And the alternative is very accessible.

How Much is Enough?  This is a trick question.  Everyone’s right answer is different, and it can change continually for each aspect of your life.

Most of us do not need another New Years resolution.  We have enough unfinished business and unfulfilled commitments to ourselves.   Instead, choose an existing resolution that remains stuck, despite your good intentions.  I propose you dust off that resolution for the new year and take it on with a fresh perspective.  Unravel the hidden assumptions that (perhaps at a subconscious level) block your progress.  Rather than let a change-resistant assumption have you in its tight grip, hold that assumption in your grip, examine it, and decide how much and when it actually holds credence.

A colleague recently described to me a specific self-defense concept from the martial arts form Akido.  Here’s the scenario:  an unexpected attacker grabs you from behind by wrapping his arms around your chest to restrain you.  For most of us, our instinct is to pull forward, to get as far away from the attacker as possible, as soon as possible.  But pulling forward only tightens the attacker’s hold, like a knot tightening when you pull a rope.  Instead, the better (akido-principled) reaction is to lean back into the attacker.  This can create some space for you, and will catch the attacker off guard, creating an opportunity for you to break free.  The lesson here is that the most effective course of action may be counter-intuitive.