Posts

Most of us do not need another New Years resolution.  We have enough unfinished business and unfulfilled commitments to ourselves.   Instead, choose an existing resolution that remains stuck, despite your good intentions.  I propose you dust off that resolution for the new year and take it on with a fresh perspective.  Unravel the hidden assumptions that (perhaps at a subconscious level) block your progress.  Rather than let a change-resistant assumption have you in its tight grip, hold that assumption in your grip, examine it, and decide how much and when it actually holds credence.

A colleague recently described to me a specific self-defense concept from the martial arts form Akido.  Here’s the scenario:  an unexpected attacker grabs you from behind by wrapping his arms around your chest to restrain you.  For most of us, our instinct is to pull forward, to get as far away from the attacker as possible, as soon as possible.  But pulling forward only tightens the attacker’s hold, like a knot tightening when you pull a rope.  Instead, the better (akido-principled) reaction is to lean back into the attacker.  This can create some space for you, and will catch the attacker off guard, creating an opportunity for you to break free.  The lesson here is that the most effective course of action may be counter-intuitive.

In a recent coaching training workshop, the central focus was on “setting the agenda” – of a single coaching session, of a coaching engagement, and even of a client’s career progression.  The session highlighted something that may sound obvious, but often gets demoted below seemingly more urgent priorities:  When the agenda of a coaching conversation – or any business meeting – is not established up front, it is extremely difficult to ascertain if the discussion is valuable, if it is even complete.  Many false starts, divergent topics, and even major misunderstandings emerge unless all parties are clear on the presented issue and the desired outcomes.

When managing resources and making business decisions, substance of course always matters – what are the facts, what are the considerations and desired outcomes? But more often than we realize, people experience setbacks and disappointments that have nothing to do with substance. Before we even understand the facts, we misunderstand and underestimate each other, because we bring different thought processes, assumptions, priorities and communication styles to the table. For example, someone may be presenting a recommendation or solution to you, but if they walk through things in a way that is not aligned with your thinking and your emerging questions, they may lose your interest quite quickly.

A recent dialogue with fellow coaches highlighted this somewhat obvious fact: Far too many managers and executives (the vast majority of my clients) have jobs that are simply too large to be done by one person. This seems to have become a “given” in most organizations, despite the ripple of negative effects that are perpetuated. Paradoxically, everyone seems to work at making this unsustainable arrangement sustainable — usually because they do not feel they have a choice. This is an enormous issue, but I’ll comment now on just one aspect of it, down at the personal level. (Other angles will be covered in future postings.)

I plan to share with you observations, insights and questions that can improve your professional life in any of a number of ways — enriching your work and making it more meaningful, focusing your efforts to lead you to desired results more effectively, lightening the weight of your work and making it more manageable, expanding your views to bring out their best in yourself and others, and balancing the inevitable trade-offs we all must make, so that you feel confident about and comfortable with your choices. …  We may cover other terrain as well, with your valuable input.