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A nonprofit executive director recently said to me: “I know how I want to be leading now [post-peak crisis] and what’s good for the organization, but I’m not sure how to get there or how others will respond…. We have a strong team, so it shouldn’t be this hard!”

I recently wrapped up the annual AlumniCorps Emerging Leaders program I lead for rising nonprofit managers. Over eight months, the cohort members learn about their own leadership and discover what is most important. Today I feature some of the culminating lessons they shared, along with my own elaboration.

We continue to navigate the trifecta of a growing pandemic, frightening societal unrest, and economic uncertainty. Everyday life remains destabilized, even for those of us fortunate to be healthy and working, and especially for those more personally threatened. Without our familiar levels of human connection — and the associated psychological, emotional and physical benefits, it is hard to be resilient just when resilience is most needed!

I lost my exceptional mother, at 87 years old, on October 9^th. My grieving will continue for a long time. But thankfully, it is accompanied by the positive inspiration of her legacy, some of which relates to my work as a leadership coach.

The best-selling book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (Carlson, 1997) offered advice for living life with less stress by letting go of less important things. That remains excellent advice. But I find I need different guidance now, to help me navigate current realities, which involve disturbing, consequential “very big stuff” far beyond my control. I’m talking about mountains and boulders… in addition to the usual stones and pebbles that I navigate along my life’s path.

Many leaders and managers I know, especially at nonprofits, are working harder than ever during this pandemic. Their challenges are extremely volatile, unprecedented, and high stakes – creating extra personal strain. As I zoom out from what I’m seeing, reading and experiencing, I see a few patterns that differentiate the most resilient professionals from others.