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Our main sources of stress seem to come from outside ourselves, they happen to us… leaders overcommit, clients get angry, colleagues drop the ball, bosses change their minds. But what if you could influence the amount of organizational anxiety those stressors generate? … You can!

Many of us put extra pressure on ourselves around the new year — in the form of exuberant goal-setting, self-critical reflections on the year just completed, or a general restlessness around our sense of purpose.  Join me in loosening your grip on all of the above.  The following excerpt (unknown source) was read to me years ago on a rafting trip in Colorado. Rivers are great teachers!

My bold personal move this fall was to enroll in a beginner’s improv class.  I love it! The core principles of good improv have much in common with good coaching, good meetings and good management conversations.  The life blood of improv is the ability of one person to fully hear and embrace what their partner(s) says – without dismissing the message or the intentions and emotions that are behind it.

I have learned from my coaching and facilitation work how powerful paraphrasing can be. When grounded in authentic, nonjudgmental, curious listening, and not used to interrupt, redirect or override, it can enhance the value of any conversation.

So much comes at us via our daily conversations… requests, misunderstanding, emotions, surprises, opinions and so on. Much of it may be welcome, validating, and easy to respond to. Some of it seriously challenges us!

What conversations worry you? My executive clients often must plan for conversations that they are anxious about. They worry about being misunderstood – everything from coming on too strong to appearing weak or incompetent– and ultimately not getting close to their desired outcome.